In the beginning, I thought the key to a successful family session was having a list of “can’t-fail” poses memorized and ready to go.
You know the ones: standing in a V, walking while holding hands, a tickle shot if we had time.
But here’s what I learned…
Posed Doesn’t Always Mean Connected
I’d go through my list, checking off each pose like a to-do item—but the images still felt stiff. Like the family was going through the motions instead of living in the moment.
And the truth is, they were.
When we treat families like mannequins to position instead of people to interact with, the photos reflect that. There’s no warmth, no energy, no life in the image.
What Changed Everything? Flow + Prompts
Instead of memorizing poses, I shifted to using a session flow with prompts and micro-movements that allowed things to unfold naturally.
The difference?
Families laugh more.
Parents interact instead of looking for direction.
Kids feel free to be themselves.
It’s not chaos—it’s connection.
A simple prompt like “tickle dad’s ear with your nose” does more than fill a frame—it creates a moment. A story. A memory they didn’t know they were making.
Why Flow Works Better Than a Checklist
Flow gives you freedom. It allows you to adjust based on energy, age, location, and light.
It keeps the momentum going, which is especially important with young kids and distracted dads.
And it allows you to build on emotion—letting each moment fuel the next.
There’s nothing wrong with having a few go-to poses. But let them be flexible. Let them bend and breathe. Use them as starting points—not destinations.
Your Energy Is Everything
Here’s something that doesn’t get talked about enough: your energy as a photographer matters more than anything you say.
You can use the exact same prompt in two different tones—and get two completely different results.
Say “Okay everyone, now smile!” in a stiff, unsure voice? You’ll get stiff, unsure smiles.
Say it with warmth, playfulness, or calm confidence—and suddenly everyone’s relaxing, laughing, leaning in.
It’s not what you say. It’s how you say it.
Your tone sets the tone.
Your energy is contagious.
If you’re calm, they’ll feel safe.
If you’re playful, they’ll loosen up.
If you’re stiff or stressed, they’ll mirror that too.
Once I started focusing less on “nailing the pose” and more on the energy I bring into the space, my images completely changed.
Start Looking for Reactions, Not Just Results
These days, I don’t shoot to “get the pose.” I shoot for the moment right after.
The burst of laughter. The snuggle after the spin. The way a child looks up at their mom when no one’s asking them to smile.
That’s the good stuff.
Want help creating natural, connected moments in every session?
Check out The Ultimate Posing Guide — it’s filled with my go-to prompts and session flow that make all of this feel easy and fun.
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